Having "The Talk"

I want to start this post off with a question. Who would you rather teach your children (or future children) about sex? Would you rather it be you or would you leave it up to society? I personally don’t have much confidence in our society. In my home growing up, I was never actually taught anything about sex, as a matter of fact, most of what I learned came from high school around my peers. Let me tell you, that is definitely not the best place to learn, especially since I went to a school where there were so many teen pregnancies. I’m sure it would have made a big difference if I wasn’t so sheltered, particularly on this topic. I know that I’m definitely not alone in this, it is very common to learn things about sex outside of the home whether it be amongst peers, or through media and literature. I believe on average kids are being exposed to pornography by the age of seven. Parents really need to step it up and prepare their kids to face the world we live in.

I watched an interview in which Laura Brotherson, an author who wrote books like And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment and Knowing HER Intimately, gave her thoughts on topics such as sexual intimacy in marriage and when to teach your kids. She tells us five particular times in which to talk to your children about sex:

1.      Before school (before the first time they get on a bus and interact with kids who are actually just starting to be aware of their own gender and body parts)

2.      Before the age of accountability (in LDS terms this is when a child turns eight and is preparing for baptism)

3.      Before puberty (you know, when hormones start to kick in)

4.      Before dating

5.      Before marriage

I think these are actually great times to talk to your kids because those are prominent times when they’ll actually start to develop questions. It’s very crucial that your kids know that they can talk to you about this sort of thing so it’s important to be open about it. Coming from “A Parent’s Guide” https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide?lang=eng,  if your kids have questions don’t discourage them, answer their questions, but leave it at that. I feel that the more open and comfortable you are in talking to your kids about sex, the more they’ll come to you when those questions arise, or even when someone outside of your home teaches them something contrary to what you have taught them. Another thing I feel is important is to use proper terms for example terms like “penis” and “vagina” the very basic terms. If you feel strange using those words, trust me, you’re not alone. Those words were never used in my home growing up, just because we never talked about things like this. But getting used to the proper wording may help your kids avoid confusion and it makes it so much less awkward when they grow up.