Trends in the Family and in Society

There are so many reasons why family is extremely important. One particular reason why that I have come to realize is that family provides us an opportunity to have important and meaningful relationships in our life. The word I’m referring to is “intimacy” which I define as closeness. Intimacy is one of our needs as a human being and a lack of it can cause us to feel lonely or even fall into depression. When we as human beings are deprived of something we need, we tend to find it elsewhere. As with intimacy, if we aren’t receiving it in our home, where are we going to get it? There are plenty of bad places we can look for intimacy as well as some good places we can find it. The less we are exposed to intimacy the less we know how to give it. We live in a world today that is becoming much less focused on intimacy and closeness and more on self-centeredness, selfishness, fulfilling our own wants and personal desires and as a result our society pays the price.

There’s a lot of trends happening in the family and trends in our society that affect the family today. My guess is that a lot of these trends are happening in part because of a lack of intimacy in the home, because honestly, everything meaning who a person becomes, starts in the home. The trends that we’re seeing today, taken from Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy by Lauer & Lauer, are as follows:

1.            Premarital Sex

2.            Births to unmarried women

3.            Living Alone

4.            Cohabitation

5.            Delayed Marriage

6.            Birth Rates

7.            Household Size

8.            Employed Mothers

9.            Divorce

All of these trends are very much connected and have an impact on each other. There’s quite a bit to cover so bear with me, I’m only going to vaguely touch on these. First let’s talk premarital sex and how that can affect our society. So I actually went to a high school where that was a thing. I was actually really shocked when I found out it happened way more than I thought. Now we’ve gotten to the point where being a virgin isn’t really a social norm. There have been too many times where there has been the scenario in which a guy gets a girl pregnant, and the guy has no intention of stepping up and being a father. That definitely has an impact on the number of births to unmarried women. It’s really hard to have families when we’re too busy running from responsibility. According to the Lauers, 39.7% of all births in the U.S. were to unmarried women. If we are still trending then that number is going to be higher.

There’s a significant amount of people who live alone nowadays and we know that people living alone aren’t having families of their own or are either the victim or the cause of an ended marriage or relationship. As I mentioned, people need to find intimacy from somewhere, and obviously this won’t be the case with everyone, but for some this may factor into premarital sex as well. Those who cohabit may just be a step above. Now cohabitation can go either way because an unmarried couple can have a family, but also, unmarried couples are more likely to break up than a married couple are. Typically people cohabit to test their compatibility for marriage which tells me they’re afraid of divorcing. With that being said, marriage brings a commitment that cohabitation does not, and your chances are good if your relationship is founded on trust and selflessness. Cohabiting can definitely factor into those who delay marriage, and for quite possibly the same reason, the fear of getting divorced. There are other reasons too, like the financial fears or wanting to complete your bucket list first; but marriage is about teamwork, you can work on finances and complete your bucket lists together.

The next two may go hand in hand. We’re seeing a decrease in the birth rates of women, and the sizes of households are decreasing as well, which means couples are having less kids, more people are living alone and delaying marriage. You can find information on this on the 2010 Census. There’s also concern about the decrease in our population since not enough people are having enough children to replenish our population which could be a concern. Go to this link for more information http://www.byutv.org/watch/59b6b917-984a-478f-93b1-521a647779c4/new-economic-reality-demographic-winter-part-1.

There is also an increase in women in the workforce. Now I understand that some moms have to work to help support their family, some mothers are single parents and have to work, but there are also some for whom working is an option. Not saying there’s anything wrong with a mother who works, but I do believe that the title of “mother” is the most sacred of titles and responsibilities. The world needs more stay at home moms who can rear children in righteousness and help them become good productive members in society. There’s nothing that can replace the love and influence of a mother. The more time and intimacy a mother can commit to her children, the better off they will be.

The last concern is divorce and my concern is that people in our day are so quick to get divorced and not try to work things out. Marriage takes work, not sure how many people in the world know that, but if things aren’t working out, you learn to communicate, learn to sacrifice your individualism, your own wants for the good of the other person. Divorce can lead to all of the mentioned problems that we face in our society. I’ll admit, there are some couples out there that probably shouldn’t be together, but if you can work it out, absolutely work it out. The world needs more families to stick together, not separate.