There are so many reasons why family is
extremely important. One particular reason why that I have come to realize is
that family provides us an opportunity to have important and meaningful
relationships in our life. The word I’m referring to is “intimacy” which I
define as closeness. Intimacy is one of our needs as a human being and a lack
of it can cause us to feel lonely or even fall into depression. When we as
human beings are deprived of something we need, we tend to find it elsewhere.
As with intimacy, if we aren’t receiving it in our home, where are we going to get
it? There are plenty of bad places we can look for intimacy as well as some good
places we can find it. The less we are exposed to intimacy the less we know how
to give it. We live in a world today that is becoming much less focused on
intimacy and closeness and more on self-centeredness, selfishness, fulfilling
our own wants and personal desires and as a result our society pays the price.
There’s a lot of trends happening in the family
and trends in our society that affect the family today. My guess is that a lot
of these trends are happening in part because of a lack of intimacy in the home,
because honestly, everything meaning who a person becomes, starts in the home. The
trends that we’re seeing today, taken from Marriage and Family: The Quest
for Intimacy by Lauer & Lauer, are as follows:
1. Premarital
Sex
2. Births
to unmarried women
3. Living
Alone
4. Cohabitation
5. Delayed
Marriage
6. Birth
Rates
7. Household
Size
8. Employed
Mothers
9. Divorce
All of these trends are very much connected
and have an impact on each other. There’s quite a bit to cover so bear with me,
I’m only going to vaguely touch on these. First let’s talk premarital sex and
how that can affect our society. So I actually went to a high school where that
was a thing. I was actually really shocked when I found out it happened way
more than I thought. Now we’ve gotten to the point where being a virgin isn’t
really a social norm. There have been too many times where there has been the
scenario in which a guy gets a girl pregnant, and the guy has no intention of
stepping up and being a father. That definitely has an impact on the number of
births to unmarried women. It’s really hard to have families when we’re too
busy running from responsibility. According to the Lauers, 39.7% of all births
in the U.S. were to unmarried women. If we are still trending then that number
is going to be higher.
There’s a significant amount of people who
live alone nowadays and we know that people living alone aren’t having families
of their own or are either the victim or the cause of an ended marriage or
relationship. As I mentioned, people need to find intimacy from somewhere, and
obviously this won’t be the case with everyone, but for some this may factor
into premarital sex as well. Those who cohabit may just be a step above. Now cohabitation
can go either way because an unmarried couple can have a family, but also,
unmarried couples are more likely to break up than a married couple are. Typically
people cohabit to test their compatibility for marriage which tells me they’re
afraid of divorcing. With that being said, marriage brings a commitment that
cohabitation does not, and your chances are good if your relationship is
founded on trust and selflessness. Cohabiting can definitely factor into those
who delay marriage, and for quite possibly the same reason, the fear of getting
divorced. There are other reasons too, like the financial fears or wanting to
complete your bucket list first; but marriage is about teamwork, you can work
on finances and complete your bucket lists together.
The next two may go hand in hand. We’re
seeing a decrease in the birth rates of women, and the sizes of households are
decreasing as well, which means couples are having less kids, more people are
living alone and delaying marriage. You can find information on this on the
2010 Census. There’s also concern about the decrease in our population since not
enough people are having enough children to replenish our population which
could be a concern. Go to this link for more information http://www.byutv.org/watch/59b6b917-984a-478f-93b1-521a647779c4/new-economic-reality-demographic-winter-part-1.
There is also an increase in women in the
workforce. Now I understand that some moms have to work to help support their
family, some mothers are single parents and have to work, but there are also
some for whom working is an option. Not saying there’s anything wrong with a
mother who works, but I do believe that the title of “mother” is the most sacred
of titles and responsibilities. The world needs more stay at home moms who can
rear children in righteousness and help them become good productive members in
society. There’s nothing that can replace the love and influence of a mother.
The more time and intimacy a mother can commit to her children, the better off
they will be.
The last concern is divorce and my concern is
that people in our day are so quick to get divorced and not try to work things
out. Marriage takes work, not sure how many people in the world know that, but
if things aren’t working out, you learn to communicate, learn to sacrifice your
individualism, your own wants for the good of the other person. Divorce can
lead to all of the mentioned problems that we face in our society. I’ll admit,
there are some couples out there that probably shouldn’t be together, but if
you can work it out, absolutely work it out. The world needs more families to
stick together, not separate.
